Musings on turning 30

So today I am officially old. I can no longer call myself a 20-something. Thirty seems to be one of those milestone birthdays, so it caused me to think a little about life - past and future.

When I look back, I wonder how much did I really accomplish in the 30 years God has given me so far on the Earth. I can get a little discouraging studying Charles Spurgeon, who founded a college and built the largest megachurch the world had ever seen - all before he was 30.

How much time during those 30 years did I waste with things that have no real significance and will not last? How much more could I have accomplished for Christ if I had been more sold out? If I had been more concerned with what He thought about me and less concerned with what others thought of me? If I had been more passionately pursuing Him instead of lesser things? If had been chasing His holiness more than my sin?

But in the end, those years are gone ... whether I want them to be or not. They are spent. Some, maybe many, squandered wastefully. Hopefully, some spent in loving obedience to Christ. I have the time, how much ever it may be, He has planned to give me in the future, what will I do with that?

What is really sobering to me is to think about Jesus beginning His own earthly ministry at about my age. This was the time he was tested in the wilderness by Satan, baptized by John and preaching "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."

I'm sure Jesus was an amazing 20-something, but God didn't see fit to tell us how Jesus lived then. He did give us a detailed look at 3 years of his life in his early 30's, my age. How much did Jesus accomplish during these years? How much can I accomplish in the time I have left here on Earth, whatever that may be?

I have been blessed with a great 30 years from God. Hopefully, I have a ton more to serve Him here. But regardless as I cross into the 30's, I'm trying to be even more aware that every year, every day, every minute is a gift from God that can only be spent once. I can use those gifts to glorify Him or I can try to greedily hoard them or throw them away on myself.

I'm grateful for the former years and genuinely excited for the adventure that He has waiting around the later years for me and my family.

Cleared to work

I'm not sure if this is good news or not, but ... the doctor cleared me to return to full work on Monday. He said my ankle was healing well and as long as I was not in pain, I could do my normal job.

Physical therapy people seem to be pleased with my progress as well. I have been doing my exercises there without my brace on to strengthen my ankle and leg muscles. I still have to wear my brace normally, but I'm thankful to have the improvement.

The boys are getting used to things going back to normal - Wesley in school, Jeremiah back at the babysitter. They have been really good this week considering how much change they have been through over the past few weeks.

Life without the boys

Things are weird without the boys - eerily silent may be a way to describe it. Having them stay with Nana & Papa this week has definitely helped me out with all the stuff going on up here - car repair issues, doctors appointments, physical therapy, reading and exams. I also can sleep in the mornings not having to worry if Jeremiah has climbed on top of the washing machine to sneak some bubble gum and smear it into the carpet.

Having said all that ... I miss them. As much as I want to sleep in the mornings, I miss waking up to Jeremiah coming in the room and playing on the bed. As much as I enjoy having quiet, peaceful afternoons to get some things done for school, I miss Wesley telling me about his day at school and all the things he is learning.

I know they are having a great time this week. Pam and I are enjoying the break. But I still miss them. They are one of the reasons I get up in the morning and go to work at night.

Life is a lot easier without them here, but without them here life is not really life. I'm always thankful for the chance to spend time with just Pam and to get some extra school work done, but I always miss them and end up thinking about them a good bit. I can't wait to see them on Friday ... even though I know they will not feel the same. Nana and Papa's is a lot more fun than our house. ;)

Raining bananas

Pam loves to use mixed metaphors, so I figured I'd use one in the title. It's a combination of "When it rains, it pours." and "Problems are like bananas, they come in bunches."

We've had a bit of a bad streak going on. First I had my injury at work. Just as that was starting to straighten out, I hit a deer coming home from work. After I got the repair and rental car scheduled, the van cut off on Pam while she was driving it on vacation. We had that fixed at a dealership at the beach, but on the way home it started jerking wildly to the left. It got so bad we pulled off to the side of the road and didn't trust it to go any further. We had the van towed to a Wal-Mart where (thankfully) they were able to fix it, as it was a torn belt inside of the tire which had knotted up and was causing the van to jerk. Today, Pam, following in my footsteps, fell at work. She's OK, just some scratches and a few bruises, but it just seems like it's one thing right after another.

I've heard a lot of people talk about spiritual warfare taking place when they were in seminary - how they would go through stretches where everything would go wrong, causing them to doubt their decision to go to school. I'm not sure if that is what this is, but I do know that God is sovereign and our job is to trust Him.

Spiritual warfare or not, the string of incidents does cause me to ask one very important question: What is God trying to teach us? That's what I really want to know - what is the lesson that we should draw from all of these small, but challenging problems?

I can't really complain about our lot in life, even if I thought I should. When you sit in class and you hear prayer requests about spouses, parents or children dying or jobs being lost or especially the lostness of the world, having my car break down is nothing. I have a loving, beautiful wife. I have two smart, healthy, wonderful little boys. Our family has two jobs and health insurance. We have two vehicles. I am able to attend a wonderful seminary with top-notch professors for free thanks to scholarships and grants. Most of I, I have Jesus. What more could I ask for?

Sure, it seems like it's "raining bananas" a little bit right now, but to mix another metaphor in: when life gives you bananas, make banana bread. Life is good because God is better.

At the beach

We are enjoying some relaxing time at the beach. We will spend a few days with Pam's sister Patti and her little boy Norton (bro-in-law Stuart had to stay home).

Pam has some photos up on her Twitter. This is where I miss "my camera" from NGU. I loved to take pictures of the boys and of scenery, especially at the beach. I still think my mind works like a photographer or at least a graphic designer. I see things in terms of how nice it would look as a photograph. (We did have a pretty nice CoolPix but the lens messed up so we can't use it at all.)

On Monday, we are going down to Myrtle Beach to join my parents for some more vacation. My goal is to enjoy time away with the family and to get some reading and writing done. We'll see how that goes.

Ankle Update

I just got back from my appointment at Cary Orthopedics and I guess the news is ... OK. I definitely do not have any breaks and I will not need surgery. All those are good things.

On the bad front, it is a confirmed grade 3 sprain. I tore two tendons off the ankle bone (one ripped a bone chip off with it). I'm still on work restrictions until my next appointment on Oct. 12 (thankfully one of those weeks will be vacation). I do have to go to physical therapy twice a week because the range of motion in my ankle is so limited.

They gave me a much better brace. It is a sports air cast, which is more form fitting and slides in my shoe better. It also gives me more support on the base of my ankle.

On the non-medical front, I'm moving around better. The swelling has gone down considerably. Only the outside of the ankle where the tendons ripped off is still swollen considerably. The bruising is going down. My foot and toes are starting to look a little more normal, not quite like the wild berry fruit roll-up I called them before.

That's the news for now. I don't have an appointment for physical therapy yet, but I'll post something about it as soon as I go there. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers.

Update on my ankle

I went for my check-up on my ankle yesterday, hoping to get work restrictions lifted. That didn't happen ... at all.

The doctor said that my sprain was a very severe sprain, which still doesn't sound like much. I mean I had sprains in high school playing basketball all the time. I just had to hobble around for a day or two and then everything was fine. Apparently, sprains get a lot worse than that.

From what I could gather the only thing that didn't go wrong with the Gatorade bottle I tried over was that I didn't break anything. Both doctors I have seen have mentioned Grade 3 sprains. From About.com:

Grade III ankle sprains are complete tears of the ligaments. The ankle is usually quite painful, and walking can be difficult. Patients may complain of instability, or a giving-way sensation in the ankle joint.

So yeah seems like I screwed up my ankle pretty good. The second doctor said she wanted to schedule an appointment with a foot/ankle specialists so they can do an MRI to see how much damage there is to the ligaments, tendons, etc. Then after all that I may have to do physical therapy. Physical therapy for an ankle sprain? That's exactly what I thought, but I guess when you mess up the ligaments you have to do some rehab work.

At work, I'm sitting down in front of a conveyor belt flipping small boxes and letters over so that the label is up, making it easier on the guys down the line to sort them. I also scan some of the boxes, which helps UPS make sure those boxes are making it to the right place. Basically, I'm doing busy work so that it does not count as a lost time injury for UPS.

At home, I'm sitting in a chair and crawling up stairs to the bed and the bathroom (Curse you upstairs bathroom!). Pam and the boys have had to help me get stuff and move. It's driving me nuts.

At school, I'm struggling across the campus on my crutches. I've got to take several breaks in between the trip because my foot starts to swell and hurt and my arms get tired.

I'm waiting to get a call about my when my appointment with the specialist will be. As soon as I found anything else I'll let you know.